what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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