i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
