I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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