You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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