**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
