That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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