i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
