I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
