i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
