Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
