I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We left the knife in your bed.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
