I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
