ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
