he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
