He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Randomize
