Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
we're so committed to being not committed
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
