I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
