So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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