I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
