Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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