That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I am midnight drunk by noon
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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