420 ftw
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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