first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
