she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
