I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
