A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
