Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
