its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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