Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
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