I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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