Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
