The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
