Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
