yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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