If that was your dad, he is hot
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
