We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
