Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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