Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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