you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
