I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
