some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
