he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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