Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
