Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
