I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
