Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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