I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
