If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
