he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
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