if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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