It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
