So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
false alarm, still single
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