Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Sorry about my life...
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
